Please Remain On the Line; Your Call Is Important To Us
Except no, it's not. It's not important to you at ALL.
If it was, you would have hired more than two gum snapping inbred swamp dwellers to answer your phones.
If it was, you'd have outsourced to India, where at least the staff has been trained to call me "ma'am" and sincerely wish me a pleasant day. Or evening. Once, the nice Indian lady I was chatting with admitted that she had a little plastic clock on her desk that told her what time it was in the different parts of the USA. And that when she looked up customer records, she'd figure out what time it was for the customer, JUST so she could correctly say "have a good morning" or "have a pleasant evening."
If it was, you wouldn't interrupt the music meant to soothe me every fifteen seconds to tell me how important my call was.
If it was, you'd give me a guess as to how much longer I'll be in line, or at least where in the line I happen to be.
If it was, I'd have been able to call an 800 number, instead of calling Florida about your inexplicably broken piece of shit product, no doubt assembled by the gum cracking mongoloid's brother.
If it was, I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ON HOLD, LONG DISTANCE HOLD, FOR ONE HUNDRED AND ELEVEN FUCKING MINUTES BEFORE BEING INFORMED THE CALL CENTER WAS CLOSED FOR THE DAY.
If it was, you would have hired more than two gum snapping inbred swamp dwellers to answer your phones.
If it was, you'd have outsourced to India, where at least the staff has been trained to call me "ma'am" and sincerely wish me a pleasant day. Or evening. Once, the nice Indian lady I was chatting with admitted that she had a little plastic clock on her desk that told her what time it was in the different parts of the USA. And that when she looked up customer records, she'd figure out what time it was for the customer, JUST so she could correctly say "have a good morning" or "have a pleasant evening."
If it was, you wouldn't interrupt the music meant to soothe me every fifteen seconds to tell me how important my call was.
If it was, you'd give me a guess as to how much longer I'll be in line, or at least where in the line I happen to be.
If it was, I'd have been able to call an 800 number, instead of calling Florida about your inexplicably broken piece of shit product, no doubt assembled by the gum cracking mongoloid's brother.
If it was, I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ON HOLD, LONG DISTANCE HOLD, FOR ONE HUNDRED AND ELEVEN FUCKING MINUTES BEFORE BEING INFORMED THE CALL CENTER WAS CLOSED FOR THE DAY.
posted by Sanya at 10:49 PM
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