Kids Today

I was on Amazon looking for a birthday gift for a young man of my acquaintance. He's going to be two years old soon, which means the chemistry set I dream of sending him is out of the question for the time being.

His mother said he loves planes and trains, helping her cook, and drawing. Being a woman who is glad to help enforce any gender role blurring, I started hunting for cooking related toys. A Play-Doh kitchen set appeared before my eyes, and to my mind, that was too perfect for words.

The included implements (besides "doh") consisted of a spatula, a waffle press, a toaster "extruder" (Play-Doh slang for "device that shoves the goop through a small opening and it comes out in a shape," in this case, "toast shaped"), spoons, forks, egg shaped molds... and a garlic press? A GARLIC PRESS? I was twenty-four before I knew what the hell a garlic press WAS. And now, it's such a commonplace kitchen implement that small children need a blue plastic one in the well-equipped Play-Doh kitchen?

I couldn't do it. I could not play any part in making this sweet child into a foodie. I mean, what's next, a sommelier Play-Doh kit that extrudes cork shapes to smell? I bought a set of car, train, and plane Play-Doh molds, which had its own unintended side effect - now my mate wants a set just like it.

Okay, so do I.