Captain Obvious Explains the Internet, Part 3

If You Scratch a Satirical Website, Does It Not Bleed?

A blogger of my acquaintance is today referring readers to this delectable snippet: Menstruation is a SIN. Typical Geocities, eh? Let's all make fun of the silly Geocities user on our Blogger website!

Captain Obvious would like to point out that, as much as we all like to make fun of free webhosting services as the root of all internet-based ignorance and evil, sometimes there's more than meets the eye. If you look really hard, you can find "irony," "situational irony," and "satire." Sometimes a poorly animated GIF is attempting to be social commentary.

The evil menstruation page is a subsection of an "angel baby" website, an example of a genre devoted to memorializing SIDS, miscarried, or stillborn infants. People who put up these websites invariably assault the viewer with flashing cherubs, fuschia taglines reading "I'm the mommy to an angel," and MIDI sound files of "Rockabye Baby" on an infinite loop. Admittedly, the difference between a real angel baby site, and a satirical version, is almost impossible to see.

Unless the author is as subtle as a falling anvil being ridden by a cartoon roadrunner.

Today's obvious tip:

Check to see if the site is a joke before posting the link to your blog in an intellectually elitist snit. Hint: If they are selling CafePress thongs that serve as "emergency moral reminders," they are probably not serious.

As a side note - doesn't it seem strange that the Bible warns us to treat menstruating women as unclean? The real trouble starts three days before any visible sign of the process. "Thou shalt keep her in a separate tent for three days prior to the onset of blood, bringing her small offerings of honey and wine, and thou shalt not speak to her or be spoken to by her or thou shalt be sorry. Very, very sorry." That would have been useful, but noooooo, let's lock the barn after the horse smashes a few plates and makes you sleep on the couch for your unknown sins.