Captain Obvious Explains the Internet, Part 2

Freedom’s Just Another Word For LALALALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU

People who talk about freedom of speech, and how they are BEING DENIED THEIR FREEDOM on various message boards, blog comment forms, and other internet cesspools are pretty funny. You’re still free to talk, you know, just not there.

Captain Obvious always wants to send those people emails with this little test:

1. Go outside.
2. Yell something. Something inflammatory, such as “The president sucks!” or “Evolution is real! Kansas sucks!” or “I voted for Clay Aiken!”
3. Go back inside.
4. Wait for the cops to come.

If the police do not arrive, you may conclude that you still have freedom of speech for the time being. Your neighbors are equally free to think you are a moron, and not invite you over for barbeques, or wife swaps, or cocktails, or whatever is The Thing in your neighborhood. Or they might gasp, and say, “Wow, you like Clay too? Do you have that bootleg from the concert in Illinois? Bring over your iPod, I can totally hook you up!”

That’s the great thing about freedom in real life. It has nothing to do with internet drama.