Snow and Blue Balls
The D&D campaign has been on hiatus for nearly five months. Work was really busy, two of the campaigners got married (to each other - no one's significant other makes fun of D&D in OUR little gang), work slowed down but trips out of town gained in frequency, et cetera. FINALLY, we agreed on today, January 30. The DM handed out level assignments, dice were dusted, pouches retrieved, character sheets pored over. We were ready, man. Ready to ROCK THE UNDERDARK.
Actually, I was prepared to BE rocked by some vampire spider or an undead dwarf, since that is the DM's FAVORITE THING EVER to do to me.
(We all work in the same office. One day, I was sitting at my desk, typing away. A gentleman of my acquaintance wandered by, and he made me laugh about something. I pushed my chair back, so as to not whack my hands on anything - if it's worth laughing about, laugh with your whole body - and that's when I saw it. The office was shadowed, and under my desk it was downright dim. All I really saw was something BLACK and HAIRY and TWO FEET WIDE with RED GLOWY EYES. I screamed, literally screamed, and levitated back four feet. I fucking hate spiders, and this looked like the mother of all spiders. After the adrenaline slowed down, I looked a little closer. Gingerly I stretched out my arm to touch... the loop of elastic attached to its plastic fur? It was a giant Halloween spider decoration, the kind of thing that looks real only out of the corner of your eye. Suddenly my mind flashed to the campaign, and how in the last session the DM kept dropping giant vampire spiders on us. I said, quietly at first but rising in volume, "I don't know who did this but I have a PRETTY GOOD GUESS, E__ J___!" At the time, the DM sat three offices down, so he could of course hear every word. I left the spider hanging on my door for months, as a reminder to all that payback is a BITCH.)
Anyway, I was looking forward to it, failed saves versus webbing and all. I practically ran out the door this morning to shovel, dragging my mate behind me, since last night's weather report said it would be done by nine this morning. As we shoveled, a funny thing happened. It started coming down harder. I got a sinking feeling as I hacked the last chunks of ice from the car.
When we came back inside, there was a message from the DM. Sure enough, the gang decided to postpone, as some of us would have had to travel much further than the others.
One thing about Northern Virginia is that people absolutely CANNOT drive. They careen along in their SUVs, all psyched about their great traction, and then they act surprised by PHYSICS when they realize that the enormous mass of their land yacht makes stopping impossible. The news has reports of accidents everywhere this morning.
Anyway, if you can stay inside when it snows in NoVa, you should. Even if you were completely ready for some creative storytelling party time. And pizza.
So, I totally have fantasy blue balls. You can tell from the babbling.
Actually, I was prepared to BE rocked by some vampire spider or an undead dwarf, since that is the DM's FAVORITE THING EVER to do to me.
(We all work in the same office. One day, I was sitting at my desk, typing away. A gentleman of my acquaintance wandered by, and he made me laugh about something. I pushed my chair back, so as to not whack my hands on anything - if it's worth laughing about, laugh with your whole body - and that's when I saw it. The office was shadowed, and under my desk it was downright dim. All I really saw was something BLACK and HAIRY and TWO FEET WIDE with RED GLOWY EYES. I screamed, literally screamed, and levitated back four feet. I fucking hate spiders, and this looked like the mother of all spiders. After the adrenaline slowed down, I looked a little closer. Gingerly I stretched out my arm to touch... the loop of elastic attached to its plastic fur? It was a giant Halloween spider decoration, the kind of thing that looks real only out of the corner of your eye. Suddenly my mind flashed to the campaign, and how in the last session the DM kept dropping giant vampire spiders on us. I said, quietly at first but rising in volume, "I don't know who did this but I have a PRETTY GOOD GUESS, E__ J___!" At the time, the DM sat three offices down, so he could of course hear every word. I left the spider hanging on my door for months, as a reminder to all that payback is a BITCH.)
Anyway, I was looking forward to it, failed saves versus webbing and all. I practically ran out the door this morning to shovel, dragging my mate behind me, since last night's weather report said it would be done by nine this morning. As we shoveled, a funny thing happened. It started coming down harder. I got a sinking feeling as I hacked the last chunks of ice from the car.
When we came back inside, there was a message from the DM. Sure enough, the gang decided to postpone, as some of us would have had to travel much further than the others.
One thing about Northern Virginia is that people absolutely CANNOT drive. They careen along in their SUVs, all psyched about their great traction, and then they act surprised by PHYSICS when they realize that the enormous mass of their land yacht makes stopping impossible. The news has reports of accidents everywhere this morning.
Anyway, if you can stay inside when it snows in NoVa, you should. Even if you were completely ready for some creative storytelling party time. And pizza.
So, I totally have fantasy blue balls. You can tell from the babbling.
posted by Sanya at 11:21 AM
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