I'm a Plus Size Model, Baby
Steven Tyler sure could spawn pretty people. Liv Tyler is one of those transcendantly lovely people that I want to hate, but can't because she seems funny and nice as well as a porcelain-skinned goddess. Last night, I saw the other Tyler spawn on VH1, the Mental Flypaper station. (By Mental Flypaper, I mean you intend to surf past VH1 on your way to Law & Order reruns, and suddenly you're captivated by the brilliance of Michael Ian Black talking about tampons or pet rocks or SOMETHING, and the next thing you know it's tomorrow and you've eaten all the cheese popcorn from the Christmas tin.)
The caption said she was a plus sized model. She didn't exactly LOOK like a model with her red eyeshadow and her flipflops, threatening to beat down a drill instructor, but it was an unflattering reality show depiction, so I headed for the net.
Yeah, she was totally a model.
Now for the part that tweaked my brain. She, a lady 5'7" in stature, began modeling for Lane Bryant (a clothing store for women sized 14-28) when she weighed 155 pounds.
I'm shorter, and almost that weight. I must be "plus sized," right?
Wrong. I have too much dignity to be plus sized. If I were "plus sized," I'd tell you I was FAT and be proud of it, thankyouverymuch. Euphemisms piss me off.
But wrong on another score. I wear size ten jeans, and they're loose enough that more willpower and less cheese popcorn could squeeze me into a pair of eights. I don't wear vanity tens, either, from a brand that wants women to "feel" slim and trim. I'm a ten in Levi's, Gap, Victoria's Secret, Ralph Lauren, Wrangler, and every other brand I've tried. I wear size medium tops, I'm evenly proportioned, and while I'd never wear a bikini, I also don't fear swimsuits. My mate likes my ass. Basically, I'm okay. And if I were 5'7" and 155, I'd be one size smaller than I am right now, or maybe a really loose fitting ten - certainly not a fourteen, the smallest size available at Lane Bryant.
In other words, Mia Tyler, the "plus-sized model," was about three sizes too small to wear the clothes sold to actual plus-sized people.
The caption said she was a plus sized model. She didn't exactly LOOK like a model with her red eyeshadow and her flipflops, threatening to beat down a drill instructor, but it was an unflattering reality show depiction, so I headed for the net.
Yeah, she was totally a model.
Now for the part that tweaked my brain. She, a lady 5'7" in stature, began modeling for Lane Bryant (a clothing store for women sized 14-28) when she weighed 155 pounds.
I'm shorter, and almost that weight. I must be "plus sized," right?
Wrong. I have too much dignity to be plus sized. If I were "plus sized," I'd tell you I was FAT and be proud of it, thankyouverymuch. Euphemisms piss me off.
But wrong on another score. I wear size ten jeans, and they're loose enough that more willpower and less cheese popcorn could squeeze me into a pair of eights. I don't wear vanity tens, either, from a brand that wants women to "feel" slim and trim. I'm a ten in Levi's, Gap, Victoria's Secret, Ralph Lauren, Wrangler, and every other brand I've tried. I wear size medium tops, I'm evenly proportioned, and while I'd never wear a bikini, I also don't fear swimsuits. My mate likes my ass. Basically, I'm okay. And if I were 5'7" and 155, I'd be one size smaller than I am right now, or maybe a really loose fitting ten - certainly not a fourteen, the smallest size available at Lane Bryant.
In other words, Mia Tyler, the "plus-sized model," was about three sizes too small to wear the clothes sold to actual plus-sized people.
posted by Sanya at 6:20 PM
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