Faster Than Telling Y'all One By One
Me (11:47:42 PM): So, there we are at the ultimate small town America fireworks display. It's ten minutes longer than the DC Mall show. There are hot dogs, Good Humor trucks sponsored by the Lions Club, and a high school girl singing the National Anthem
Me (11:48:09 PM): Only, they've aimed the mortars badly this year, and the entire crowd keeps getting peppered with burning cardboard
Guy #2 (11:48:20 PM): That sounds awesome!
Me (11:48:26 PM): (Friend) gets one fragment in her hair
Guy #2 (11:48:27 PM): I'm not sure if I'm being sarcastic or not.
Me (11:48:44 PM): My sister in law and I both got smacked with giant chunks
Guy #2 (11:48:48 PM): OK if people I know are wounded, it's no longer awesome.
Me (11:49:17 PM): But it's pretty good, still, even up to the point where a grass fire starts next to (other friend)
Me (11:49:25 PM): Bear in mind it rained all afternoon
Me (11:49:33 PM): They had to TRY to get a fire going.
Me (11:49:45 PM): It was a big mortar fragment.
Me (11:50:02 PM): But still, I just put up my umbrella and enjoyed the finale
Me (11:50:06 PM): Which went well
Guy #2 (11:50:02 PM): Didn't anyone notice the flaming debris falling from the sky?
Me (11:50:20 PM): Yeah, but the show didn't stop for whatever reason
Me (11:50:27 PM): But wait, there's more
Me (11:50:34 PM): The last bank of mortars is going
Me (11:50:50 PM): And they'd been doing ground level fountains all night
Me (11:51:11 PM): Then one went off and I thought, fuck, that wasn't a fountain, that one was a half sphere
Me (11:51:19 PM): It was one of the big ones exploding on the ground
Me (11:51:23 PM): Which set off two more
Me (11:51:28 PM): That went into the crowd
Me (11:51:46 PM): Seven injured, only two seriously
Me (11:51:57 PM): They got helicoptered out
Guy #2 (11:52:11 PM): Youch.
Me (11:52:30 PM): I always thought if I were in the front row for something, I'd take pictures and send them to the TV stations
Me (11:52:34 PM): Only I couldn't.
Me (11:52:45 PM): It was a grandmother and a little boy.
Me (11:53:05 PM): We just decided we could let other people rubberneck, and we got the hell away.
Me (11:53:23 PM): Being SHELLED is not as fun as it looks on CNN!
Guy #2 (11:53:34 PM): Well, yes, there's a reason armies use mortars!
Me (11:53:59 PM): The concussion wave does more damage than the burning bits, apparently.
Guy #2 (11:53:59 PM): That sounds criminally negligent.
Me (11:54:16 PM): We'd been going and sitting there for years
Me (11:54:52 PM): We'd never seen fragments at all, it all fell on the soccer field they don't let people sit on.
Me (11:55:33 PM): The only thing I can think of is that the storms caused them to cover the setup with tarps, and removing the tarps fubared their angles
Me (11:56:22 PM): So, the takeaway - I cannot believe we shoot mortars at Iraqi women and children, and I think (friend) is never going to go with me to fireworks again :P
Guy #2 (11:56:49 PM): Well, to be fair the Iraqis shoot a lot more mortars at us now
Me (11:57:22 PM): We don't have civilians in Iraq.
Me (11:57:23 PM): Well
Me (11:57:24 PM): we do
Me (11:57:29 PM): but they're paid to be there
Me (11:58:04 PM): the only American toddler maimed by mortar fire tonight was in Vienna.
Me (11:58:50 PM): VIENNA.
Me (11:59:26 PM): The main street is called MAPLE AVENUE. There's a car show before the volunteer band plays consisting of seven old white guys and their cool cars.
Me (11:59:53 PM): There's a committee that sticks flags on everyone's mailbox.
Me (12:00:10 AM): Norman Rockwell fled this place because the diabetes was gonna kill him.
Guy #2 (12:01:19 AM): explosives can hurt you!
Me (12:01:49 AM): This show is going to get sued out of existence
Me (12:02:07 AM): Vienna is where lawyers go to raise children.
Me (12:03:37 AM): Oh, but there will be lawsuits:
http://www.nbc4.com/news/13622975/detail.html?dl=mainclick#
Me (12:05:02 AM): mutter
Me (12:05:29 AM): so what'd you do for the 4th?
Guy #2 (12:05:50 AM): nothing nearly that exciting!
Edit to add: Washington Post update
Me (11:48:09 PM): Only, they've aimed the mortars badly this year, and the entire crowd keeps getting peppered with burning cardboard
Guy #2 (11:48:20 PM): That sounds awesome!
Me (11:48:26 PM): (Friend) gets one fragment in her hair
Guy #2 (11:48:27 PM): I'm not sure if I'm being sarcastic or not.
Me (11:48:44 PM): My sister in law and I both got smacked with giant chunks
Guy #2 (11:48:48 PM): OK if people I know are wounded, it's no longer awesome.
Me (11:49:17 PM): But it's pretty good, still, even up to the point where a grass fire starts next to (other friend)
Me (11:49:25 PM): Bear in mind it rained all afternoon
Me (11:49:33 PM): They had to TRY to get a fire going.
Me (11:49:45 PM): It was a big mortar fragment.
Me (11:50:02 PM): But still, I just put up my umbrella and enjoyed the finale
Me (11:50:06 PM): Which went well
Guy #2 (11:50:02 PM): Didn't anyone notice the flaming debris falling from the sky?
Me (11:50:20 PM): Yeah, but the show didn't stop for whatever reason
Me (11:50:27 PM): But wait, there's more
Me (11:50:34 PM): The last bank of mortars is going
Me (11:50:50 PM): And they'd been doing ground level fountains all night
Me (11:51:11 PM): Then one went off and I thought, fuck, that wasn't a fountain, that one was a half sphere
Me (11:51:19 PM): It was one of the big ones exploding on the ground
Me (11:51:23 PM): Which set off two more
Me (11:51:28 PM): That went into the crowd
Me (11:51:46 PM): Seven injured, only two seriously
Me (11:51:57 PM): They got helicoptered out
Guy #2 (11:52:11 PM): Youch.
Me (11:52:30 PM): I always thought if I were in the front row for something, I'd take pictures and send them to the TV stations
Me (11:52:34 PM): Only I couldn't.
Me (11:52:45 PM): It was a grandmother and a little boy.
Me (11:53:05 PM): We just decided we could let other people rubberneck, and we got the hell away.
Me (11:53:23 PM): Being SHELLED is not as fun as it looks on CNN!
Guy #2 (11:53:34 PM): Well, yes, there's a reason armies use mortars!
Me (11:53:59 PM): The concussion wave does more damage than the burning bits, apparently.
Guy #2 (11:53:59 PM): That sounds criminally negligent.
Me (11:54:16 PM): We'd been going and sitting there for years
Me (11:54:52 PM): We'd never seen fragments at all, it all fell on the soccer field they don't let people sit on.
Me (11:55:33 PM): The only thing I can think of is that the storms caused them to cover the setup with tarps, and removing the tarps fubared their angles
Me (11:56:22 PM): So, the takeaway - I cannot believe we shoot mortars at Iraqi women and children, and I think (friend) is never going to go with me to fireworks again :P
Guy #2 (11:56:49 PM): Well, to be fair the Iraqis shoot a lot more mortars at us now
Me (11:57:22 PM): We don't have civilians in Iraq.
Me (11:57:23 PM): Well
Me (11:57:24 PM): we do
Me (11:57:29 PM): but they're paid to be there
Me (11:58:04 PM): the only American toddler maimed by mortar fire tonight was in Vienna.
Me (11:58:50 PM): VIENNA.
Me (11:59:26 PM): The main street is called MAPLE AVENUE. There's a car show before the volunteer band plays consisting of seven old white guys and their cool cars.
Me (11:59:53 PM): There's a committee that sticks flags on everyone's mailbox.
Me (12:00:10 AM): Norman Rockwell fled this place because the diabetes was gonna kill him.
Guy #2 (12:01:19 AM): explosives can hurt you!
Me (12:01:49 AM): This show is going to get sued out of existence
Me (12:02:07 AM): Vienna is where lawyers go to raise children.
Me (12:03:37 AM): Oh, but there will be lawsuits:
http://www.nbc4.com/news/13622975/detail.html?dl=mainclick#
Me (12:05:02 AM): mutter
Me (12:05:29 AM): so what'd you do for the 4th?
Guy #2 (12:05:50 AM): nothing nearly that exciting!
Edit to add: Washington Post update
posted by Sanya at 9:10 AM
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