Olympics on the 'Quils

Fact: I am horribly, miserably sick with a nasty cold.

Fact: The Olympic opening ceremony is ALWAYS a cross between the sublime and the insane.

Fact: I got two hours of sleep last night, because with insufficient Nyquil in the house, I decided to snarf some Benydryl before going to sleep.

Fact: While most people are knocked out by Benydryl, I appear to be one of those rare people who is completely WIRED by Benydryl.

So I'm dozing, fading in and out of the opening ceremony for the Games in Torino. I am used to these spectacles, so I didn't even bat an eye at the cows on wheels, or the vinyl clad rollerskaters with flames coming out of their heads.

But during the parade of nations, I was sure I was hallucinating. The music was all... stuff from my iPod. Eighties dance hits. Mongolia strutted in to "Video Killed the Radio Star." No way was this actually happening. I've had no sleep, my skull is draining into various overpriced tissues, and I'm high on cold drugs. Just a dream.

Then the announcer said, "Bob, the nations appear to be marching in to a random assortment of American pop hits from the eighties." The other one said, "Yes, Bob, and if I can only hear "Betty Davis Eyes" by the incomparable Kim Carnes, my night will be complete."